


Honesty

by Ajju



Category: MapleStory
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 00:49:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19735024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ajju/pseuds/Ajju
Summary: Hi, hello. Based off the song "Honesty" by Pink Sweat$, which I can't stop listening to.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4_eZI--8VkSorry for any errors in grammar.





	Honesty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Freidynne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freidynne/gifts).



> Hi, hello. Based off the song "Honesty" by Pink Sweat$, which I can't stop listening to.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4_eZI--8Vk
> 
> Sorry for any errors in grammar.

Ark's face was flustered red. His ears were perked up, and his mouth agape. He slowly brought up his hands to cover them. It wasn't as apparent as he brought them up, but you could see his hands tremble as he pressed them against his mouth.

Idiot. I know that you're trying to hide your smile.

I knew he was emotional, but I didn't think he would be this shaken.

He said, "I - I'm afraid to fall in love, 'cause what if it's not reciprocated."

I told him, "Don't rush Ark, don't you rush. Guess it's all a game of patience."

A game of patience, but I'm the one that's playing here.

He started acting coy after that, and wouldn't meet my eyes. He won't look _at_ me, but at my body instead. Where exactly is he focusing?

Sometimes he looks up, and when he does, I smile back. The panic on his face before he looks away again is pretty cute.

He looked at me again, "... What if I lose myself?" And then he looked down towards the side once more, "... What would you do?"

There's aren't questions that need to be answered. There isn't any doubt what I'd do, but I wouldn't relieve him of his doubt so easily, "You're overthinking it. You have to let love take its course, sometimes you'll get burned, but you can't give it up."

Hah, seriously, this guy. He really doesn't know how much I love him.

I love him.

I really love him. I just want to tell him, "I want you. I want you Ark."

But I can't rush this. It's a game of patience, I might lose him if I go too fast.

Ark said, "What if I told you about all the things I've done? Would you leave me?" He balled his normal hand on his lap, and gripped the bottom of the bench with his specter hand.

I told him, "Ark, we all have baggage we don't want. I can't solve these things for you, but I will be there for you, if you want me to."

"What if I dive deep? What if I get consumed by the Abyss? Would you come in after me?"

I didn't answer him immediately, but let the silence take over for some seconds.

He swallowed and looked really tense.

"Ark." He jolted a little bit. "Where are you looking? My face is here."

**_CRACK_ **

Ah. He cracked the bench.

He lifted his face immediately, wearing this look of guilt. He had such a large frown as he was the verge of tears from the embarrassment.

I dug my fingers into my thigh to try and suppress the urge to laugh. It took every fiber of my being not to. Am I keeping face? I can't make him more uneasy than he already is.

I redirected some of that energy into a smile, "I told you already, thinking is all wrong. Love will happen when it wants. Sometimes it hurts, but don't let it go. 'Cause I want you. I want you, Ark. Whatever's happened before, you don't need to be ashamed of it. Don't overthink it, just do what you want to do."

"Ark, Won't you give me a chance?"

\-------------------------------------

... My heart is beating so fast... When did it start getting so hot?

I want to smile. But it's being suppressed by fear; the thought that he is making a mistake in judgement. I feel ashamed of it.

I felt compelled to cover my mouth.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, what am I supposed to say!?

I want to stay calm, but, I'm shaking so much? Is it noticeable!? I need to act natural.

First off, why someone like me anyways!? Him!?

It makes me happy, but...

I said, "I - I'm afraid to fall in love, 'cause what if it's not reciprocated."

He told me, "Don't rush Ark, don't you rush. Guess it's all a game of patience."

I heard what he said, but when I was looking at him in the eyes, I kind of realized how pretty they were. The color is just breathtaking. It's like that dumb pickup line, "Do you have a map, because I got lost in your eyes."

I can't look him in the eyes anymore. It's just stressful how good looking he is? I dropped my gaze down, but when I noticed how his shirt exposed a little bit of his collarbone, I had to shift my eyes away. The arms should be fine, right?

But isn't it rude if I don't make eye contact!?

I looked up, and when we met eyes, he gave a charming smile - and no, I can't do it. I thought I could handle it, but it caught me off guard again. I brought myself down to looking at his arms again.

Still, I think he should be with someone else. I don't think anyone should have to deal with me or the things I carry. The future is uncertain. I'll never give control to Specter, but, what if he overpowers me one day? What if he starts rampaging and attacking everyone? I don't want to hurt anyone.

I braced myself, and looked at him, "What if I lose myself?" This really is too much. I expect him to show doubt, or give a negative reaction, or _something_ , but he only ever shows patience. I really shouldn't, but I defaulted my eyes back down, he wears a lot of bracelets, don't they get in the way? They wouldn't allow us bracelets in the military in case they got caught on something. "... What would you do?"

"You're overthinking it. You have to let love take its course, sometimes you'll get burned, but you can't give it up."

He's so calm about this. I don't know how to react.

Am I really overthinking it? You... You never really know a person, what they're capable of, what they've done.

I don't think anyone can accept me after what I've done...

It's such a difficult topic. I have so much tension right now, I don't know how to relieve it. Clenching my normal hand felt somewhat helpful, but this was through the roof. If I could do the same with my specter hand I would but... I held onto the bench with that arm instead.

"What if I told you about all the things I've done? Would you leave me?"

"Ark, we all have baggage we don't want. I can't solve these things for you, but I will be there for you, if you want me to."

"... What if I dive deep? What if I get consumed by the Abyss? Would you come in after me?"

I waited for an answer, but he didn't say anything. Does he understand now? It would be good if he did, but, I also want him to say that he would. Am I making a mistake right now?

Why won't he say anything? I understand, but... it's eating at me. This pressure in my throat is killing me. I started clenching my fist and gripping harder.

"Ark"

**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

"Where are you looking? My face is right here"

_**CRACK** _

**I CRACKED THE BENCH.**

I really just want to crawl into a hole right now.

I immediately looked at him, but he just smiled like always. Somehow this one seems more radiant than the others.

"I told you already, thinking is all wrong. Love will happen when it wants. Sometimes it hurts, but don't let it go. 'Cause I want you. I want you, Ark. Whatever's happened before, you don't need to be ashamed of it. Don't overthink it, just do what you want to do. Ark, won't you give me a chance?"


End file.
